So today I decided that I was going to work in the yard. Yes, even though it was 200 degrees outside. I have these super awesome gloves. They are purple and just slide onto my hands. Awesome I tell you.
Anyway, so since I decided to work in the yard... The backyard to be more specific... I had the joy of having more help than anyone could possibly ever deserve. It was splendid. Well, until I put on the awesome gloves.
Like you've read before, I have five dogs and a cat. Three of them are always together: Jezebel, Chloe, and Munchkin. I call them the good, the bad, and the ugly or the three flamingos. (side note... When my now college age daughter was young she loved the movie the Three Amigos. But she said flamingos instead, so that's the story behind that one). If you've never seen that movie, you so should.
Anyway... The Three Flamingos decided to help me. That was until I put the awesome gloves on. I believe the dogs would call them the demon gloves. I am fluent in Fido, so I explained to them that they are good. They didn't believe me. Well, until Munchkin made the first move. She's fearless that one. She walked up and slowly crept her way under the demon gloves where they would touch her, but ever so gently. She paused for a moment while the glove was touching her back. She then backed up, still with the glove on her back. Then forward again. Then back again. She began to just move one or two steps up and back all the while licking her lips.
Once she discovered that those were no demon gloves, she persuaded the other two to come try them out. These to her were now the awesome gloves. Chloe has extremely short and thin hair, so there's no brushing her... Ever. So Chloe walked over to me to check out these things I placed on my hands. She tried to pull them off with her teeth until she realized that part of my body was inside of them. She looked at Munchkin and Munchkin walked over to me to repeat her steps above. Chloe watched and then tried it herself. All the while I am sitting there with my hand sticking out, completely still. Once Chloe tried out this whole walking forward and backward under the gloves, she then decided that this is how she wants to be brushed. She leaped around as if she struck gold. If the gloves were on, her body was there... Ready to be brushed. Then here comes Jezebel. Now, Jez is 70 pounds. Her version of wanting to be gentle is tackling you. That's fun... Right?
Well, she wanted me to scratch her butt withe those gloves. So, I did. Chloe had other plans. Apparently Chloe has decided that those gloves are hers. Period. Chloe slithers her body under the glove that is scratching Jezebel and starts brushing herself. Yes, the gloves are still on my hands.
This continued for about fifteen minutes. Then, in my best Fido accent, told them it was time for me to actually do something in the backyard. I start removing dead branches and leaves from around the landscaping. I'm on my knees to get to the real mess. Here comes the good, the bad, and the ugly. (side note... Jezebel is the good one, Munchkin is the bad one, Chloe is the ugly one. She's not ugly, but she's not good or bad, either). Chloe grabs the very tip of one of my gloves and takes off with it. At the same time, Munchkin and Jezebel are trying to get scratched with the other glove. Chloe tosses her glove on the ground and starts rolling around on it. I'm thinking she's trying to brush herself since I'm so busy. That's nice of her.
Needless to say, I didn't get much done in the backyard. But now the three flamingos agree.. Awesome gloves.
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